1) Remember how a few weeks ago, I was asking for morning routine tips?
(I'm going to pretend this is a conversation and you just said yes.)
I've started laying out clothes the night before. I've started getting breakfast ready the night before. I've started showering the night before.
All these organized, grown up things.
Yet, this morning? I still was running through the house like a banshee, trying to track down my shoe (the one that was conveniently on The General's picnic table because he was drumming on it), screaming, "WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE TO ALL THE THINGS!"
Madness. This work thing is madness.
2) It's homecoming week this week and today was Character Day. I walked down the hall today and my principal immediately nailed that I was Penny from The Big Bang Theory (because he is a CHAMPION like that). I broke my cardinal No Pig Tails After Age 20 rule and kind of felt like I was twelve all day. But whatever because #jeansallweek. Tomorrow is Royalty Day, so my plan is to buy a crown, wear jeans, and pretend to be the queen of my classroom.
I really am the queen.
3) Mono is also apparently going around. Like the spleen enlargement disease? That's going to be awesome if that comes my way on top of the bladder infection I'm probably about to get because WHEN IS THERE EVER TIME TO PEE DURING THE DAY?! (Shouty letters mandatory.)
4) Did I tell you I think I have bronchitis?
5) Again today? My zipline badge thing got stuck in my locked door. Again? I tried to walk away from it. Again? It snapped me right back and I head butted the door. You guys? That NEVER happens when it's just me to in the hallway.
Just take a second to picture scenario that in your head. I'll wait.
6) Tonight at the grocery store, Tuck switched Caillou to Spanish on my phone. So now, Caillou is not only straight up annoying - but he's straight up annoying in A BRAND NEW LANGUAGE. I can't figure out how to get it back, so that just basically means Tuck's about to become bilingual. #momoftheyear
7) I finally made like a homemade - not macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets - meal tonight. I think that means I'm done until October now.
8) Today, my friend Hutty's husband ... who would be ... Hutty 2? Pulled his soup out of the microwave and it literally exploded all over the walls, refrigerator, counter, carpet, and his clothes. It was spectacular - in that kind of thank goodness that just didn't happen to me way. He then sat next to me and his possessed soup exploded again - all over my new red Birks that BFF Amber's mom brought me back from Germany. When I wiped the soup off with my finger and then licked my finger (don't even pretend like that's something you wouldn't do), it was delicious. Made me think maybe I need to cook more.
But probably not.
9) Yesterday, Tuck was drumming on the basketball hoop in the basement - because why wouldn't he be ... whyyyyyyy wouldn't he be - and it toppled over on him. Pandemonium ensued for about eight seconds. And then, he was racing back upstairs to drum on everything else.
The picnic table.
The tupperware he pulls out.
All. The. Things.
So basically, this entire Update On My Life Post Summer Break thing is just really all to say: Send help because this work life is no joke.
(And perhaps a maid?)
(And again? HOW DO PEOPLE WORK ALL YEAR UNDER THESE EXTREME CONDITIONS?!)
. About Moi .
I love, love, love flannel sheets and I am really passionate about lists on post it notes and most of the time I'm sad that no one else is as excited as I am about Diet Mountain Dew. I also adore run-on sentences. And if you need an awesome virtual assistant, who is full of personality and really good jokes? Email me. I'm your girl.
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He saw her before he saw
anything else in the room.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald
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