Jesus says to forgive 70 times 7.
CS Lewis says that forgiveness is like crossing monkey bars - you gotta let go to move forward.
Gandhi says forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.
Mandela = forgiveness liberates the soul.
Marianne Williamson says that there is no peace without forgiveness.
Corinthians says love keeps no record of wrongs.
And my favorite of all - Beau Taplin: "I forgive you because hate is just another way of holding on, and you don't belong here anymore."
You don't belong here. In my heart. In my mind. In my soul. In my life.
I struggle with forgiveness. And maybe it's because I'm a girl and we're kinda known for holding grudges? Maybe it's because I was in a relationship that was ten years worth of wrongs? I'm not sure, but I struggle.
People do dumb things sometimes.
Big things. Infidelity. Abuse. Betrayal. Dishonesty. Small things. Exclusion. Poking fun. Stepping on toes.
And dang it's hard to just let those things go.
You know, they say the opposite of hate isn't love; the opposite of hate is indifference. When you can truly be indifferent about someone, then it's all over. When you can honestly look at someone and say, "I'm glad you're doing well." When you can honestly look at someone and say, "I've forgotten what you tasted like in the early morning, or what your hands felt like at night." When you can honestly look at someone and say, "I don't miss you."
They walk together with their hands held and a congregation of people trail behind them - arms out in supplication. They walk together and don't care one single bit about who is pursuing them both.
And my darlings, we are all in hot pursuit. There is a reason there are so many lessons in the Bible about forgiving. There is a reason that Gandhi speaks so candidly "the strong".
There is a reason.
To carry anger, hurt, grief with you in your heart - heavy in your chest - is to carry a weight that only gets heavier. You can be sad, confused, stricken - and if you continue to carry them, if you continue to neglect putting those things to bed - those feelings only multiply ... amplify. Your burden only increases. Have you noticed? True freedom comes from the release.
From letting it go.
I'm not really an expert. I don't really have a lot of answers. I do know what worked for me - what helped me to set it all free.
The biggest - the most crucial - is that we are all just people. I've said it a thousand times. You. Me. The guy on the corner. The girl in class. Your boss. All of us. We're all people hurtling around on a giant rock trying to do our best every single day.
And we falter.
We falter big.
And we hurt each other.
But keep some perspective, okay?
It's hard - the forgiving. And it's a constant thing. You gotta work at it. On my computer, I have a little scrap of sticky note that says, "Do hard things always." And that includes the forgiving.
So your business partner wronged you.
Or your neighbor cut down your perfect tulips.
Or someone tripped you accidentally on an already bad day.
Forgive them. And not because they deserve it. But because YOU deserve it.
This is a tough topic. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around all of the different facets - all of the different roots. What do you think? How have you learned to forgive? What nuggets do you have?
I love you all more than Miller Lite on warm spring Friday nights.
. About Moi .
I love, love, love flannel sheets and I am really passionate about lists on post it notes and most of the time I'm sad that no one else is as excited as I am about Diet Mountain Dew. I also adore run-on sentences. And if you need an awesome virtual assistant, who is full of personality and really good jokes? Email me. I'm your girl.
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He saw her before he saw
anything else in the room.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald
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